Day 4

So for the fourth day in a row, I have wrestled with the fact that I have lost as much weight as I should lose. Time to stop and be grateful and strengthen and tone. Carnival San Francisco is less than 5 months away and if I want to see that banger body that I worked for then I must keep it moving. The most interesting thing I read in the last few days was that we can do as much work on ourselves in our sleep as we do when we are awake. We do as much for goals and the things we want in our sleep as much as we do when we are awake. I understand it to mean that our thoughts really do become the things we live and experience. if we are thinking positive upbeat inspired and authentic, then we will live that. If we are thinking low sad depressed angry jealous and hatefully, then we will live and experience that. I am fully realized in living as a Goddess, and the amount of time work and energy that I have put into that is manifesting into life. I need only allow and accept what is, and continue. I can remember a time mired in need and longing and now I just...AM...I don't long to be or need to be...I AM

Day 3

There is absolutely nothing standing in the way of progress. To start this transition, I have to detox. This should be pleasant enough as I've had plenty of practice.

Day 2

I've been trying to go back to work...slowly. I'm not giving up on writing but I've been off long enough and have put as much effort into it as I possibly can. So back to the trenches. I facilitated a 3 hour workshop with teen girls and that was a good way to get my feet wet in the work world. I have taught this work shop for free but this time the org had a budget so I was paid ($50 per hour) Not too bad at all! NEXT! I know that I like consulting but I need to plants some roots for awhile, so I can just write and set up resources for the first two who will leave the best nest. I know that I need to sail everyday so I've decided that Fisherman's Wharf is probably for me. There has to be a competitive salary, and NOT as enclosed as when I worked for PG&E, which is right where you can run and look at the water, but you have to run back. (Although I am grateful for those breastfeeding breaks that we're company policy, Ramses is too!) I need something with the doors open, that's relaxing, and watery..I want to feel the spray, and be REQUIRED to look Cute, Confident, and Casual all at the same time...Mmmmmmm.....

Day 1

Why did I stop blogging for 15 months? So I could figure out where I was going and what I was doing? How could I possibly be a healthy happy mom online, if I was struggling to be one in real life. It took me 15 months to find it again and a lot has happened since then. I also realized that I spend so much time talking about the children that I forgot that I am a person in all of this too, and I have a life. I don't even remember signing up to have four children, but I do. Somehow in all of this they are doing well in school and in life, and although I am majorly stressed and anxious most of the time. I am happy. So on to the next thing that I have to do. Get rid of the stress. I get stressed when I feel like my dreams aren't coming true. I get stressed when I feel like my ME time is being misused. I get stressed when I don't work out and feel and look too fat. I get stressed when I get stressed. So for the next five months I will be fixing these things with daily dedication. I will be working on two dreams and I will be working out, and not just going to the gym, but the complete approach. Massage, day spa, hydrotherapy, diet. If I didn't blog I would forget my goals and I make it public for the motivation of knowing that someone else may be inspired to do it to. I know I am not the only mother in the world who wants to be a beautiful, awesome, and amazing woman in addition to being a mom. If we don't share knowledge and information, how are we supposed to rise as a people, as a nation, as Hot Momma's. So to all of the Mother's out there these next six months are for you to see how I do it, and I hope it inspires you to do it too. My goals 1. To Look Absolutely flat belly, tight butt fly in Carnivale in San Francisco 2. Kick open a major door for my screenwriting career 3. Get through the end of the school year and keep the A's coming. Goal number three does involve the children but it sharpens my skills too, since I am teaching them music and languages. The more I work with them, the smarter I become.